Baby on Board - unfortunately he was driving!

My beloved MG

If you have been following my Grand Touring in Great Britain blog you will know I have just picked up the wonderful 1969 MGB GT that I will be driving around the country. If you have not (why not?) then you can find the site here. Well, I picked the car up a couple of days ago and drove it through pouring rain to the garage where I am keeping it in South London. Today, I had a number of little tasks to do on the car and as it was such lovely weather I thought I would take it for a little spin too. The joy of having the sun roof open and beetling along in such a lovely car was something I find very hard to describe but on the Grand Touring blog you will probably see me try it on a number of occasions.

With time pressing on I decided it was time to take my beloved car back to the garage. One of the things I plan to do is film parts of my journeys around the country and put them online to show the wonders of driving when you avoid motorways. I was trying out my camera mount today as one of the little things I needed to test. I had turned the camera to point to the left so that rather than focusing on the traffic on the roads you could better see the buildings and other roadside architecture. I had no intention of publishing any of todays film, it was solely to test out the camera and then play around with my editing software. I was pulling up to a cross-roads with two lanes for traffic going my way. As I would be turning left I pulled into the left lane and the traffic lights were red so I pulled up behind a transit van that was half into the lane. The lights turned green and I let the van complete its turn into the lane and I pulled off when suddenly the Vauxhall Corsa in the right hand lane violently accelerated and cut in front of me. I had to do an emergency stop and I hit my horn (I was taught that the horn should only be used to warn another road user of a potential accident, which driving into my car seemed to fulfil). The lights went red and the driver of the Corsa leapt out and started yelling at me. Now I do not want to reinforce stereotypes but when I think of someone who can not control their temper I do tend to think of a yonug-ish male (20s or 30s), shaven headed and not someone who is going to be troubling Mastermind with an entry any time soon, so imagine my surprise when the driver turned out to be a young-ish man, shaven headed, who in the brief tirade he aimed at me showed limited vocabulary as well as even more limited understanding of the highway code. The one thing I had not accounted for was the can of Red Bull he was waving around. I can not help thinking that perhaps he did not need that extra energy the drink was giving him but then he did not seem the type to drinking a can of Horlicks on his way home from clubbing baby seals or whatever it was he did for a living. Ironically he was going straight on and could therefore be in either lane and I was going left I would not be getting in front of him, which seemed to be his main concern. However, as it turned out our paths crossed again about half-a-mile down the road, which enabled me to get his car and his number plate on camera. In case you can not read it in the clip it is VN05 NWU and attached (for the moment until he hits something) to a silver Vauxhall Corsa. The one thing that did amuse me was the Baby on Board sign but it was not nailed to his forehead, which was surely the correct place for it to be attached.

I have uploaded the video here for your amusement (apologies for the F word but I am sure you can understand) and if anyone knows Mr Bullethead perhaps you could quietly suggest he goes to a) an anger management class and b) a driving school so he can refresh himself on the highway code and perhaps even c) a race track where getting in front of someone is a legitimate activity. Oh and you should also suggest he lays of the Red Bull.

Why F1 is better of without Toyota

F1 has been rocked this week after the culmination of a terrific and unpredictable season by the sudden withdrawal of Toyota from the sport, despite having signed up to stay in until 2012 and the possible withdrawal of Renault. This follows on the heels of BMW announcing it was pulling out earlier this season and Honda who pulled out at the end of last season. Add to this the fact that Bridgestone, the tyre manufacturer to F1 has also announced it will not be renewing it's agreement and you could easily conclude that the sport is in meltdown.

Those who think that F1 must have the top motor manufacturers in it to make it relevant have forgotten the rich history of this sport. Bernie Ecclestone, who has done a tremendous amount to bring the sport to the heights of popularity that it enjoys these days, seems to think that it needs these firms to make it the premier motor racing tournament.

History does not bear this thesis out however. Look at both of the major teams of the last decade, Ferrari and McLaren. True nowadays Ferrari is the prestige brand of Fiat but it started when Enzo Ferrari left the Maserati team to start his own team solely to race in Formula 1. Mclaren was one of those teams started by an ex-World Champion (in this case Bruce McLaren), although again now it is in the main supported by Mercedes. The other teams that have won World Championships have equally humble origins. Brabham was another driver start-up team. Lotus was created by Colin Chapman and only became a motor manufacturer because of its success on the racetrack not the other way round. Look at the last great independent in the sport today, Williams. A team that battled for many years without a victory before they became World conquerers, subsequently (and wisely as it turns out) rejecting a buyout from BMW to remain independent. When this sport has been at its most competitive, most innovative it has been driven by skilled engineers and designers not by multinational conglomerates who want to sell more of their bland town car or (never used) off-road 4x4.

Indeed one only has to look at this remarkable season to see who adapted to the rule changes the best. Brawn, freed from the yoke of Honda, were first out of the blocks with the double defuser, a smart interpretation of the rules that would have made Chapman smile. Williams also had a double defuser and ended up having their best season for some time, albeit with the one driver they wanted rather than the one forced on them by their engine manufacturer. The other team to have the double defuser? Toyota. A team that has supposedly pumped more into its F1 team than anyone else, even beating Ferrari, who this season had a the technological edge that would prove to be the difference between first and second in the championship. What happened to them? Well, they were competitive one weekend and nowhere the next, ultimately dropping out of the sport altogether. Brawn won the World Championship for both driver and manufacturer, whilst Williams got out of the Toyota deal, got themselves the Cosworth engine deal for next year and an very sensible pairing of experienced F1 driver and proven race winner, Rubens Barrichello and up and coming racer, current F2 champion Nico Hülkenberg.

The other major team of the year, the team that came second in the Championship, the team that "won" the second half of the season was Red Bull. A team with the best designer of the past 15 years, Adrian Newey creating a car that looked different depending on the circuit, sometimes with the pinsharp shark nose and sometimes with the broad shovel nosed variant if that was what suited the track. Late on McLaren took what was a dreadful car and miraculously made a silk purse out of it and Ferrari looked competent at times but the season belonged to two independents.

When F1 was great there were a number of teams competing for race wins, they all tended to use the same engine, the old Ford Cosworth V8, which meant that it was the designers, the chassis, the drivers and the skill of the teams that won through and I hope that this loss of the manufacturers from F1 will see a return to the days when we focused less on budget and more innovation and ingenuity. Bye-bye Toyota, hello racing.

The Ghosts of my Life Blow Wilder than Before

I am going o have another moan, frankly I think this whole blog could end up being the basis for the next Grumpy Old Men series.

First, my ex-wife, who tricked me out of two thirds of the value of our flat despite the fact that we agreed to a 50/50 split seems to think that the law is on her side for me paying her tons of cash for the sale of our flat but that the law does not require her to keep up payments on the joint mortgage we have until the flat is sold. Apparently I should pay that, the maintenance fees for the flat and the legal fees for selling the flat too and then give her a pound of flesh from nearest to my heart as possible.

Second, an ex-very good friend suddenly sends me a text (I have been trying to send her a cheque for a small amount of money I owe her) claiming to have never "given out her address" to me, conveniently forgetting that she invited me round after having told me on numerous occasions where she lived and we spent a splendid evening talking, watching trashy TV and nattering on the sofa. However, now that she has decided we are no longer friends history has been re-written to such an extent that I am right up there with Hitler and Stalin obviously.

I have been feeling quite chipper recently despite everything but as the lyric goes "Just when I thought I was winning . . . the ghosts of my life blow wilder than before". Thank you ladies, you make my life complete.

British Banking Rip-off (& there's more!)

It would be best if you read the previous post first. I will give you a couple of minutes to do that before I continue.

Done? Okay, so finally after "seven working days", which was actually eight working days the money left my Lloyds credit card late on the 24th. I had set up a number of payments to go out from my current account to pay the bills I had not been able to pay last month.

However, Lloyds neglected to tell me that the money would leave my credit card in seven working days but not actually hit my current account for another two to three days! The next thing I know I am getting a text from lloyds saying I do not have enough money in my account to pay the bills.

I then phoned the credit card people and after a long-sih conversation was transferred to the telephone banking people who said that actually I need to speak to the credit card people who then said they had had a bit of a backlog and were very sorry that I had not been told the right information but it would be all okay as I would be getting my money by the end of the week. Remember I asked for this transfer from one Lloyds account to another Lloyds account on the 12th August and they are patting themselves on the back for completing it by the 28th August. I think you will agree an incredible achievement in this day and age.

I explained what that I was paying bills on the basis the money would be there and they apologised and said it would be okay by the end of the week. I explained again that I was trying to pay bills now on the basis of the information they had given me and they apologised for that but could do nothing to help.

I asked to have my credit facilities extended to cover the money that was being returned to my account so that the bills could get paid but they said that due to my credit rating they were not able to do that but everything would be okay by the end of the week. I explained again that it was not acceptable and that as the money was being transferred from one Lloyds account to another Lloyds account. After moving up the ladder a bit and in a phone call lasting over an hour I finally was told they would extend my credit facilities by less than half of the amount that was being transferred and for the privilege I would pay 19.3% interest.

I think next time I need money I will go straight to the loan sharks, at least they are honestly crooked!

British Banking Rip-Off

Now I know this has been said before but I think until the British banks are forced to improve their service they will continue to rip us, their customers off.

Last month instead of transferring my salary to my current account I picked the wrong option and paid off a credit card instead. This was entirely my error and for that I admit responsibility. It takes British banks five working days to complete a transfer between different banks, so I waited five working days, which was a Friday and then as nothing had turned up in the other account and once before they had not managed to complete a transfer on a Friday I waited until Monday. When it still did not turn up on the Monday I went back to the original account and realised my error.

I presumed that the bank would not transfer my money back so instead I arranged a number of balance transfers to pay off other credit cards and to put some money on a card that I could then do a balance transfer to my current account. After waiting another week because of course it takes British banks a week to do a balance transfer I phoned the credit card company to find out what the hold-up was and was told that my credit rating was not good enough to allow the balance transfers to go through.

I explained the situation to the person on the phone who said that they could transfer the money back to my account, which I was amazed and pleased at but that, guess what, it would take seven working days to complete the transfer. I asked them to undertake the transfer and as that was a Wednesday I presumed that seven working days later would be a week Friday.

Today I checked my account to find still no money. I phoned the credit card company to be told that seven working days started the day after I requested the transfer. This meant that I would not receive my money back until Monday. guess what else happens Monday? I get my next pay cheque. this whole fiasco has taken a month and the really annoying thing is that the account my salary gets paid into and the credit card that I mistakenly paid my salary onto are both the same bank! So they "take" seven working days to transfer money between two accounts! Pathetic. I will complain and I will take my financial business elsewhere but frankly all of the British banks are the same.

Share Liverpool FC

Recently my beloved Liverpool were taken over by a couple of Americans. I have nothing against them per-se but they do not seem to understand quite what they have bought. This is not a franchise that they can play with, this club is much more important than that to paraphrase the great Bill Shankly.

Recently they have started to stray away from the Liverpool way and the team is not playing as well as it was earlier in the season, the extra players we should have brought in during the January transfer window have not been bought and one of the best managers in the world has been made to feel unwelcome. However, this being Liverpool the fans have not let it happen unopposed. There have been a number of shows of support for the manager including a march to the ground by a few thousand fans before a home game.

Now comes the most audacious idea of the lot. Get 100,000 fans together to buy the club for a cool £500 million ($1 billion!) so the club is owned in the same way as Barcelona. Never again will anyone be able to buy the club. The fans will elect the board and de-select them if they do not perform.

I think this is a fabulous idea and given the fact that the website for this scheme crashed not long after launch due to the number of people trying to visit it I am clearly not alone.

Watch this space.

Why Liverpool FC?

One constant love of my life has been Liverpool FC. Footie was not part of my family life, my father being from the valleys and an ex-rugby player, winger, which oddly enough for the one season I was forced to play rugby at school was my position too). On that point it was not part of my school life either, my school was solidly a rugby school and the school rules stated that you could not play football within 30 metres of the school building and you could not play on the playing fields as it would “cut the turf up for the rugby boys”. Possibly one of the most asinine diktats in the history of eduction. Given the playground stopped about 20 metres away from the school building it was therefore physically impossible to legally play soccer.

Anyway, the one soccer match that we always watched was the FA Cup Final. In the 1970s out of the three channels available two carried coverage from early in the morning through to some time after five. Obviously we had to pick a team to support and I had no bias whatsoever from my father, when he was young Huddersfield used to battle for the title but it never reached the fires in the hillsides of Glamorgan. Sometimes I chose the team on the day, this would depend on how they came across in the various programmes prior to kick-off, such as “Meet the Teams”, chats with them at their hotel before they left for Wembley, the road to the final sections. However, one year I was incensed by the attitude of one player, especially when compared to the attitude of the opposition.

Malcolm MacDonald was the sort of striker that Newcastle fans always love, big, ballsy, almost the traditional English striker. He was also incredibly arrogant. In one interview he basically said Newcastle were far superior to Liverpool and they would wipe the floor with them in the final. Looking back not only is that sort of arrogance common in some people but it is also something that I take with a pinch of salt now. However, to my eight year old self this was unbelievably rude. The Liverpool players by contrast were the personification of the old-fashioned sportsmen. One of them, Ian Callaghan, had never been booked and throughout his professional career of almost 900 games for the only club he ever played for Liverpool he was never booked. Indeed the one booking he picked up, playing for England against Luxembourg (I think) was a travesty, it was not even a foul let alone a bookable offence. The Liverpool manager was one of those postwar Scots who came from a tough background and who never forgot those lessons; Jock Stein and Sir Matt Busby were two others in the same mold.

It was therefore clear to me from some days before the final who I would be supporting, Liverpool all the way. The build-up from early morning on TV showed that most of the Newcastle players were not as arrogant as their star centre forward but it was too late I had set my heart on Liverpool. The match itself showed that Malcolm MacDonald had been right about one thing, it was very one sided. Keegan, Toshack and the boys in red put three past Newcastle with no reply. They played beautiful football, skillful and not dirty. I had found my team. Just to put the tin hat on it their goalkeeper, Ray Clemence, shared the same birthday as me.

In the last 33 years the players have changed, the manager has changed, even the owners have changed (more of that in another post) but the ethos has stayed the same. Just as a recent example when Liverpool beat the non-League Havant and Waterlooville after twice going behind to the amateurs the Kop stayed behind to give the opposition a standing ovation. No other fans are as generous in their praise of opposition players, no other ground sounds like Anfield on a European night. No other club is quite like Liverpool, especially for me.

Liverpool FC